A Remarkable Tale

Tech and first rehearsal in the theater.

Here’s the thing:  Director Trull is an honest man.  He pretty much can’t help himself.

Here’s what I hate:  Director Trull says I sucked today.*  (For the record, he did not use these words.  But he and I both know what he meant, because we both speak “actor.”)

Here’s what I really hate:  Director Trull is right.

Everything was forced.  Voice.  Body.  Mind.  I was blocking the play and not allowing it to come through me.  This is one of the real paradoxes of any type of performance work.  It takes all sorts of effort to reach the point of performance, and then it takes a kind of letting go of effort to perform truthfully.

What I did today was not bad acting.  It’s worse than that.  It was dishonest and stylized acting.  The kind of acting that calls attention to itself — and can kill a good play.  And this is a good play.

Ugh.  

Now the real work begins.  The good news, I suppose, is that Director Trull will be honest with me about it.  And if I cannot get it, the bad news is that Director Trull will be honest with me about it.

Ugh.

BN

*An additional note on actor-speak:  Director Trull said (again, in actor-speak) that I sucked today.  If you are not an actor, it is important to know that actors will not hear these words as others might.  In the acting brain, “today” generally translates as “in general” or “more than usual” or “period.”  So that “You sucked today” is heard by the actor as “You suck in general” or “You suck more than usual” or “You suck.  Period.”  This is only true, by the way, when the word “today” is used to modify the word “suck.”  When “today” is used in other contexts — like “I will pay the tab for you today” or “I will have sex with you today,” actors generally have no problem comprehending the more traditional meaning of the word.